How I found out I'm pregnant

     I can't remember the moment when I decided that my dream was to become a mother. It's been a part of my identity for so long, a piece that I've been missing. Everyone has a dream no matter how simple it is and mine has always been to have a family. Growing up I was always the mother in the group, but then those friends which I had mothered started to have children and it made me feel jealous. I was the one who longed for this. Why wasn't it happening to me? I have been with my partner, Daniel, for over five years, since we were teenagers. Though we weren't actively trying to conceive we weren't preventing it either. I had been taking folic acid and waiting for the moment to happen but it just wasn't... Of course I had my pregnancy "scares" or excitements. My period cycle has always been long so there were times when it hadn't arrived and I thought "This is it" but unfortunately the second line never showed up, it broke my heart. I got discouraged and thought of the worst scenarios. I bought ovulation tests to find out if my body was in fact ovulating, if children were even a possibility. Every month I kept track of my period and when I was supposed to ovulate I would frantically take tests but each one remained negative. So finally, I gave up. Even though it hadn't been a year since we truly started to "try", I think when you want something so desperately and put all of your energy into it patience is difficult. A lot of things came up in our lives, we had to move houses and there were holidays. I was no longer obsessing over the idea of getting pregnant.

A few weeks after we moved into our home I realized that I had missed my period by a few days. I had been noticing the usual pre-period symptoms, cramping and sore breasts but I wasn't alarmed. I was even so convinced that I was starting my period that I wore a pad all day just anticipating it. After the "period cramps" didn't lead to my monthly flow, I decided to take an ovulation test. I knew that the hormone tested in the ovulation test, LH, was similar to the hormone tested in pregnancy HCG. The ovulation test came out positive! I still didn't get my hopes up assuming that it was wrong some how... But how could it be wrong? You get your period when your hormones drop not increase. So Daniel went and bought a pregnancy test before work and kindly said "Don't be upset if it's negative" we both agreed that we had so many positive things happening in our lives that it wasn't worth being upset by a negative pregnancy test. I continued to do my normal daily routine, having breakfast and exercising. Before I got into the shower I saw the pack of pregnancy tests and decided to take one. I waited in the bathroom pacing around without any clothes on. After three minutes had been up I walked over to the test and almost fainted when it said "pregnant". I stood there shaking, in shock staring at the test. I picked it up and fell down on the toilet sobbing. I still couldn't believe that I was somehow pregnant, and that my dream was coming true! I watched so many pregnancy reaction video's on YouTube but I never imagined that my reaction would be so similar, that I would be in awe. I called Daniel and said calmly "go outside where no one can hear you" he sounded nervous as he had completely forgotten about the test. "What's wrong?" He questioned. My composure broke and I squeaked "It said yes!" He seemed confused. "What said yes?" I was trying to talk through the tears "I'm pregnant!" He started laughing with excitement and we were both ecstatic. It's a memory that I will never forget and I am truly grateful that I am growing this tiny being inside me, our son.